New Year: This is for me

I have not blogged in quite some time, in fact I had forgotten about this blog. As I opened this up memories flooded me. Today I start keeping a journal for my kids to read one day, for their children to read. Today I start a keepsake of words I feel, moments I've had and memories I want to tuck away for days I can't remember. Today starts a new time in my life. 

 Today is January 1, 2017. A new start. A new year. I've decided that this year I will not have "resolutions" I will have a word(s) or phrases or quotes. 

 This year I'm choose to see LIGHT (this will be discussed at a later time). I choose to have QUIET. I choose to see BLESSINGS. I choose JOY this year. I choose to not let others actions affect my emotions. I choose to find me. I choose to find God everyday, in the smallest of places. I choose to cut negativity out of my life, even if it is people. I choose to be happy.

God is so GOOD!

I like to think that God has given me a gift in putting what HE places in my heart into words. I praise Him daily for this and I pray He never abandons me in this area. I pray I have more time to put his words to my heart to paper. Thank you Jesus!

While driving back and forth from Amarillo, I do that a great deal now days, God and I have some interesting talks. At this particular time I had been struggling with holiness and righteousness and how I should live and how was I to reach others with these two ways of living and the amazing God I serve showed me that you cannot have holiness and righteousness without love. He showed me that these three ways of living are like the Trinity. We as the children of God have to first know what love is and feel that love before we can live righteous and holy. We as the children of God have to show and extend our love before we can teach others about righteousness and holiness. The greatest gift I feel we can give is love. Why would there be so many songs about it, so many cards about it, and so many heart issues about it. Love is what saved us from sin, love sacrificed Himself for us, and love welcomes us with open arms. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13 about love, teaching that without love you have nothing, it is the greatest gift;

1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.
11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.] All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

While I was pondering on this I thought what is love to me? Many thoughts ran through my head, like how I feel loved when my husband smiles at me, a simple smile from him speaks love to my heart like no other. The love that I felt when each of my children were born and I saw them for the first time. The love I know my parents have had for me even when I didn’t realize it until I had my own children. But what stuck out the most to me was God reminding me how my little 4’10” grandma acts when we show up to her house. No matter how late it is or when we show up she is always standing at the front door waiting to greet us with her little feet running in place because she is so excited she can’t move and the tears of joy running down her cheeks. She always says, “How’s my sugar lump?” And then she squeezes the snot out of everyone one of us, even my 6’3” father! I feel that is how Jesus is going to be when He sees us in Heaven for the first time.
It states in Genesis 1:26 that God made us in His image. I know God loves us more than I could ever fathom, so if He made us in His image, we too are to love others like He loves. We are to reach out to the hurting and pray with them, we are to greet strangers with a smile and a hug, we are to stop and dry the tears of the hurting, and we are to stop and feed the hungry and clothe the poor. We cannot reach the unsaved souls in this world by just walking by and turning our noses up at them. We have to show love, even though sometimes we don’t feel like it. I’m guessing Jesus didn’t feel like being sacrificed on a cross, but HE LOVED US enough to do so.
I never had the reputation for being the most friendliest or bubbliest. But, I see in myself that the more I grow closer to God and the more I feel His love for me, I have an unexplained joy and yearning inside my heart to reach those that are hurting, to just plain hug someone and give them a compliment, to extend my hand to the them for prayer or to wipe their tears, to just show love. The more I show His love the more is it addicting, I want to show His love to everyone. I believe that if we never reach the lost souls with love, we can never lead them and teach them how to live a life of holiness and righteousness that is full of faith and hope. People will never feel welcome and have the ability to receive in a place of feeling unwanted and unloved. Lost souls will be lost forever if we, as a church do not learn to love. WE would be lost forever if God did not love us so much that HE sent His one and only son to die for us. God’s love has saved us from an eternity from hell, saved us from bondage and has given us freedom. GOD LOVES YOU and we should take that love and show it to others. After all, we are made in HIS image and I feel that when we learn to love ourselves and love God for all He has done for us then following that amazing path of holiness and righteousness is easier to follow.

a new leaf....

New things are coming!! I realized I have missed my blog and my time to express how I feel and to capture memories in words that I will soon forget...time to get back into capturing the quircky sayings my babies say, expressing my LOVE for the Lord and the love He shows me! Stay tuned......

Never call your mom a heifer....

Well, so the little mouth piece in our family tonight (MAX) was carrying his cow webkin out with him to get into the car tonight and ask, "Hey mom, what do you call a girl cow?" I replied to him, "A Hiefer." He says, "Oh yes, Tristan at church tonight told me to never call your mom a heifer." My mouth dropped open, looked at Frank in awe and all he could say is, "Well, that's good advice!!" What will he come up with next?

Just thought you would all enjoy that one!!

Long time, no Blog!!

Wheeewww....i just realized that it has been almost two months since I have blogged. That is blogged, not read everyone else's blog, YES I admit I am a blogger stalker!!

Here are some pics from our Christmas. We always spend Christmas Eve and morning at my parents house, a tradition we started the first Christmas after my brother had passed away. I love the feeling of waking up at my parents house on Christmas morning, even though we live 8 blocks away.



This is Avery on Christmas Eve, she LOVES to open presents and was front and center watching every else open theirs. I configured this after glancing back at our pics from Christmas, she was in practically every one, smiling and probably just as excited as for them as they were getting the present.





Here is our Max!! He is always content with what he receives. To say the least, he is our cheapest child to buy for. As you will see below, he was so happy to receive a $8.00 rope from Gebo's.




And this is Kloey, she had just gotten her tonsils out 2 days before. She is such a trooper and never griped a second about anything!


AND....these are pics from Christmas day. My dad is roping the two younger kids. When my dad picked up the rope to show Max how to use it, fear from my past gripped me..ha!! When we were little, my dad loved to team rope. Well, most of the time, my and my brother were the roping dummies. He would have us run down the driveway, which was gravel by the way, so the he could practice on us!! The moment I saw him with the rope, I had flashbacks, I could even smell the same air I smelt when I was 4, my white hair that I had when I was little was even blowing in my face again. I could remember thinking just run really fast and please God don't let that rope hit my feet and then hearing the sound of the rope fly past, wheeew he missed!!!







I laugh about it...now. I hated it, my brother loved it!! I know now that is why I was so tough growing up and wouldn't change it for the world! I can still hear my dad's great belly laugh, laughing at us. I miss those times!! But at least I have the memories!! And we are creating more for my children to remember.


By the way, after the roping session on Christmas day, my dad told me that my kids are way tougher than I was. Ha!!

Max and the "Mom" Feeling

I have had an extremely stressful week this week, with my last week of school coming up I have been studying ferociously for finals all the while handling my household, find a nursery worker to hire for church, have basketball practice with my youth team, work nursery, finish up Christmas shopping, hold cell group and getting prepared to start a new study with them, and just remembering to breathe. Well this week my family decides that this week is the week they are stopping all responsibilities they hold. I know for a fact that I have yelled 5 million times for them to pick up their dirty clothes, feed their animals, do homework, finish their chores, clean their rooms, sit down and if you get out of that car seat again....ewwwww, and to plain just hurry up!! I know part of this is my fault with being so busy myself, but can I get an "AMEN" that I am not the only mom who wants to smack their kids right upon their little bums when they don't listen the first time. (I so need to retreat back into my "Growing Kids Gods Way" book) Well tonight my little Max said the cutest thing while we were decorating the house for Christmas. He was helping by "fluffing" the tree while I was separating ornaments and the girls were just plain goofing off with their dad, which they do so greatly. Max says, "Am I the only one working here?" (I honestly don't know where he got that.) I giggled and said, "Amen, Max now you know how Mommy feels." And he said, "That's the mommy feeling, when nobody wants to help out!!" He hit it right on the nose!!

Here is another "Max" story from this morning, he's the wise-cracker of the family. At children's church they were giving out parts for the animals of the play. Well he had his heart sat on being the bull and had talked about it all week. When the time came this morning he was chosen for they donkey. He was extremely upset and was refusing to do the play. I pulled him aside and told him that whatever part he was chosen for, he should do it to the best of his ability because that is what Jesus would want from him and that the donkey held a very important job in Jesus' birth. The donkey is what carried Mary to the stable and if it wasn't for the donkey, Mary could of had baby Jesus right on the dirt road, that God supplied that donkey for Mary to ride on. So he decided that donkey it would be, but he added, "I am not carrying Mary on my back, that girl is five times bigger than me!!!" He cracks us up!!!

Answered prayers....My God Supplies!!

Below is a response that I received via my myspace from someone about my opinion about who we as Americans installed into the White House. I may be a little opinionated but I stand by my saying that we have installed a baby killer into the most powerful house in America. I know that God can change his heart and I am devoting myself daily to pray for this man, his family, and his beliefs. When I received this response, my first reaction was shock and then wanting to lash back. But taking lesson in being slow to anger and think first.....I chose to pray about it and I believe that the website from Dutch Sheets was sent to me by a friend by the grace of God and an answer to a prayer. I ask each of you to join me in praying for our newly elected president and others (such as this woman) who have this same opinions about their bodies...this is the response that I got:

"Is that all your thinking about? What about the economy? The state of it is going to be hard to fix and I think with the democrats in, they will have a long road, but in time we will have the change this country needs. No one is going to tell me what to do with my body. That is between me and my God! As it should be with everyone! Personal commitment between you and your God."



I believe that God answered my prayer in how to respond with His love to this woman and I did. I responded with the following:


I have been praying for a response to the below, I believe this was sent to me for that reason.

www.dutchsheets.org

This explains exactly how I feel and believe.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I choose to live by what my God states is right because I know one day we all will stand before the throne of judgement and answer for what we have done. I worship my God everyday for the ability to seek forgiveness for my sin which is covered by the blood of Jesus. I know we will answer for what we stood by and protected (life) and not for how much money we had or the state of the economy we lived in.

Pro-life is a passion that God has placed on my heart and has set it on fire. I minister to teens on a weekly basis and believe there is a reason for this. I personally have lost two babies due to miscarriage. My first one was at 11-12 weeks and my husband and I saw the precious child we will meet in heaven one day on a sonogram. I believe that life begins at the moment of fertilization, it is everything and a miracle the God created. I believe that because at an early age of only 11 weeks our baby had legs, arms, body and head, he or she was amazingly beautiful. My second one was at 8 weeks. I know that Frank and I can't wait for the day we all reach heaven and actually get to meet our two precious babies for the first time. Although we were cheated this on earth, oh what a glorious day that will be for my family.

Although my heart aches for the loss of these two babies, I now choose to look at our loss as a blessing in disguise. Our two babies are in heaven rejoicing with the Lord and my brother. We lost these two children before my brother was killed in a car accident. If I were to have had these babies, I probably wouldn't have had anymore. But I learned I was pregnant with Max 6 months after my brother's death. Giving birth to Max I could literally see the tenderness return to my parents and the hurt loosen from their hearts. They had a precious miracle to smile about again. I know what it is like to lose a baby, but not a child of 22 years. God knew what are family needed and we chose to serve Him through all our struggles and difficulties and He supplied all we needed and more (our precious Avery Alana). All I can say is God is good and amazing in all that He does, don't ever doubt that....ever.

It makes my heart so sad to think of how much of a blessing our babies have been to us and others and close to 50 million never got the chance or choice to change the heart of someone they would have come into contact with.

I am not sorry nor will I apologize for stepping on any toes about my opinion !!