New Year: This is for me

I have not blogged in quite some time, in fact I had forgotten about this blog. As I opened this up memories flooded me. Today I start keeping a journal for my kids to read one day, for their children to read. Today I start a keepsake of words I feel, moments I've had and memories I want to tuck away for days I can't remember. Today starts a new time in my life. 

 Today is January 1, 2017. A new start. A new year. I've decided that this year I will not have "resolutions" I will have a word(s) or phrases or quotes. 

 This year I'm choose to see LIGHT (this will be discussed at a later time). I choose to have QUIET. I choose to see BLESSINGS. I choose JOY this year. I choose to not let others actions affect my emotions. I choose to find me. I choose to find God everyday, in the smallest of places. I choose to cut negativity out of my life, even if it is people. I choose to be happy.

God is so GOOD!

I like to think that God has given me a gift in putting what HE places in my heart into words. I praise Him daily for this and I pray He never abandons me in this area. I pray I have more time to put his words to my heart to paper. Thank you Jesus!

While driving back and forth from Amarillo, I do that a great deal now days, God and I have some interesting talks. At this particular time I had been struggling with holiness and righteousness and how I should live and how was I to reach others with these two ways of living and the amazing God I serve showed me that you cannot have holiness and righteousness without love. He showed me that these three ways of living are like the Trinity. We as the children of God have to first know what love is and feel that love before we can live righteous and holy. We as the children of God have to show and extend our love before we can teach others about righteousness and holiness. The greatest gift I feel we can give is love. Why would there be so many songs about it, so many cards about it, and so many heart issues about it. Love is what saved us from sin, love sacrificed Himself for us, and love welcomes us with open arms. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13 about love, teaching that without love you have nothing, it is the greatest gift;

1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.
11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.] All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

While I was pondering on this I thought what is love to me? Many thoughts ran through my head, like how I feel loved when my husband smiles at me, a simple smile from him speaks love to my heart like no other. The love that I felt when each of my children were born and I saw them for the first time. The love I know my parents have had for me even when I didn’t realize it until I had my own children. But what stuck out the most to me was God reminding me how my little 4’10” grandma acts when we show up to her house. No matter how late it is or when we show up she is always standing at the front door waiting to greet us with her little feet running in place because she is so excited she can’t move and the tears of joy running down her cheeks. She always says, “How’s my sugar lump?” And then she squeezes the snot out of everyone one of us, even my 6’3” father! I feel that is how Jesus is going to be when He sees us in Heaven for the first time.
It states in Genesis 1:26 that God made us in His image. I know God loves us more than I could ever fathom, so if He made us in His image, we too are to love others like He loves. We are to reach out to the hurting and pray with them, we are to greet strangers with a smile and a hug, we are to stop and dry the tears of the hurting, and we are to stop and feed the hungry and clothe the poor. We cannot reach the unsaved souls in this world by just walking by and turning our noses up at them. We have to show love, even though sometimes we don’t feel like it. I’m guessing Jesus didn’t feel like being sacrificed on a cross, but HE LOVED US enough to do so.
I never had the reputation for being the most friendliest or bubbliest. But, I see in myself that the more I grow closer to God and the more I feel His love for me, I have an unexplained joy and yearning inside my heart to reach those that are hurting, to just plain hug someone and give them a compliment, to extend my hand to the them for prayer or to wipe their tears, to just show love. The more I show His love the more is it addicting, I want to show His love to everyone. I believe that if we never reach the lost souls with love, we can never lead them and teach them how to live a life of holiness and righteousness that is full of faith and hope. People will never feel welcome and have the ability to receive in a place of feeling unwanted and unloved. Lost souls will be lost forever if we, as a church do not learn to love. WE would be lost forever if God did not love us so much that HE sent His one and only son to die for us. God’s love has saved us from an eternity from hell, saved us from bondage and has given us freedom. GOD LOVES YOU and we should take that love and show it to others. After all, we are made in HIS image and I feel that when we learn to love ourselves and love God for all He has done for us then following that amazing path of holiness and righteousness is easier to follow.

a new leaf....

New things are coming!! I realized I have missed my blog and my time to express how I feel and to capture memories in words that I will soon forget...time to get back into capturing the quircky sayings my babies say, expressing my LOVE for the Lord and the love He shows me! Stay tuned......

Never call your mom a heifer....

Well, so the little mouth piece in our family tonight (MAX) was carrying his cow webkin out with him to get into the car tonight and ask, "Hey mom, what do you call a girl cow?" I replied to him, "A Hiefer." He says, "Oh yes, Tristan at church tonight told me to never call your mom a heifer." My mouth dropped open, looked at Frank in awe and all he could say is, "Well, that's good advice!!" What will he come up with next?

Just thought you would all enjoy that one!!

Long time, no Blog!!

Wheeewww....i just realized that it has been almost two months since I have blogged. That is blogged, not read everyone else's blog, YES I admit I am a blogger stalker!!

Here are some pics from our Christmas. We always spend Christmas Eve and morning at my parents house, a tradition we started the first Christmas after my brother had passed away. I love the feeling of waking up at my parents house on Christmas morning, even though we live 8 blocks away.



This is Avery on Christmas Eve, she LOVES to open presents and was front and center watching every else open theirs. I configured this after glancing back at our pics from Christmas, she was in practically every one, smiling and probably just as excited as for them as they were getting the present.





Here is our Max!! He is always content with what he receives. To say the least, he is our cheapest child to buy for. As you will see below, he was so happy to receive a $8.00 rope from Gebo's.




And this is Kloey, she had just gotten her tonsils out 2 days before. She is such a trooper and never griped a second about anything!


AND....these are pics from Christmas day. My dad is roping the two younger kids. When my dad picked up the rope to show Max how to use it, fear from my past gripped me..ha!! When we were little, my dad loved to team rope. Well, most of the time, my and my brother were the roping dummies. He would have us run down the driveway, which was gravel by the way, so the he could practice on us!! The moment I saw him with the rope, I had flashbacks, I could even smell the same air I smelt when I was 4, my white hair that I had when I was little was even blowing in my face again. I could remember thinking just run really fast and please God don't let that rope hit my feet and then hearing the sound of the rope fly past, wheeew he missed!!!







I laugh about it...now. I hated it, my brother loved it!! I know now that is why I was so tough growing up and wouldn't change it for the world! I can still hear my dad's great belly laugh, laughing at us. I miss those times!! But at least I have the memories!! And we are creating more for my children to remember.


By the way, after the roping session on Christmas day, my dad told me that my kids are way tougher than I was. Ha!!

Max and the "Mom" Feeling

I have had an extremely stressful week this week, with my last week of school coming up I have been studying ferociously for finals all the while handling my household, find a nursery worker to hire for church, have basketball practice with my youth team, work nursery, finish up Christmas shopping, hold cell group and getting prepared to start a new study with them, and just remembering to breathe. Well this week my family decides that this week is the week they are stopping all responsibilities they hold. I know for a fact that I have yelled 5 million times for them to pick up their dirty clothes, feed their animals, do homework, finish their chores, clean their rooms, sit down and if you get out of that car seat again....ewwwww, and to plain just hurry up!! I know part of this is my fault with being so busy myself, but can I get an "AMEN" that I am not the only mom who wants to smack their kids right upon their little bums when they don't listen the first time. (I so need to retreat back into my "Growing Kids Gods Way" book) Well tonight my little Max said the cutest thing while we were decorating the house for Christmas. He was helping by "fluffing" the tree while I was separating ornaments and the girls were just plain goofing off with their dad, which they do so greatly. Max says, "Am I the only one working here?" (I honestly don't know where he got that.) I giggled and said, "Amen, Max now you know how Mommy feels." And he said, "That's the mommy feeling, when nobody wants to help out!!" He hit it right on the nose!!

Here is another "Max" story from this morning, he's the wise-cracker of the family. At children's church they were giving out parts for the animals of the play. Well he had his heart sat on being the bull and had talked about it all week. When the time came this morning he was chosen for they donkey. He was extremely upset and was refusing to do the play. I pulled him aside and told him that whatever part he was chosen for, he should do it to the best of his ability because that is what Jesus would want from him and that the donkey held a very important job in Jesus' birth. The donkey is what carried Mary to the stable and if it wasn't for the donkey, Mary could of had baby Jesus right on the dirt road, that God supplied that donkey for Mary to ride on. So he decided that donkey it would be, but he added, "I am not carrying Mary on my back, that girl is five times bigger than me!!!" He cracks us up!!!

Answered prayers....My God Supplies!!

Below is a response that I received via my myspace from someone about my opinion about who we as Americans installed into the White House. I may be a little opinionated but I stand by my saying that we have installed a baby killer into the most powerful house in America. I know that God can change his heart and I am devoting myself daily to pray for this man, his family, and his beliefs. When I received this response, my first reaction was shock and then wanting to lash back. But taking lesson in being slow to anger and think first.....I chose to pray about it and I believe that the website from Dutch Sheets was sent to me by a friend by the grace of God and an answer to a prayer. I ask each of you to join me in praying for our newly elected president and others (such as this woman) who have this same opinions about their bodies...this is the response that I got:

"Is that all your thinking about? What about the economy? The state of it is going to be hard to fix and I think with the democrats in, they will have a long road, but in time we will have the change this country needs. No one is going to tell me what to do with my body. That is between me and my God! As it should be with everyone! Personal commitment between you and your God."



I believe that God answered my prayer in how to respond with His love to this woman and I did. I responded with the following:


I have been praying for a response to the below, I believe this was sent to me for that reason.

www.dutchsheets.org

This explains exactly how I feel and believe.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I choose to live by what my God states is right because I know one day we all will stand before the throne of judgement and answer for what we have done. I worship my God everyday for the ability to seek forgiveness for my sin which is covered by the blood of Jesus. I know we will answer for what we stood by and protected (life) and not for how much money we had or the state of the economy we lived in.

Pro-life is a passion that God has placed on my heart and has set it on fire. I minister to teens on a weekly basis and believe there is a reason for this. I personally have lost two babies due to miscarriage. My first one was at 11-12 weeks and my husband and I saw the precious child we will meet in heaven one day on a sonogram. I believe that life begins at the moment of fertilization, it is everything and a miracle the God created. I believe that because at an early age of only 11 weeks our baby had legs, arms, body and head, he or she was amazingly beautiful. My second one was at 8 weeks. I know that Frank and I can't wait for the day we all reach heaven and actually get to meet our two precious babies for the first time. Although we were cheated this on earth, oh what a glorious day that will be for my family.

Although my heart aches for the loss of these two babies, I now choose to look at our loss as a blessing in disguise. Our two babies are in heaven rejoicing with the Lord and my brother. We lost these two children before my brother was killed in a car accident. If I were to have had these babies, I probably wouldn't have had anymore. But I learned I was pregnant with Max 6 months after my brother's death. Giving birth to Max I could literally see the tenderness return to my parents and the hurt loosen from their hearts. They had a precious miracle to smile about again. I know what it is like to lose a baby, but not a child of 22 years. God knew what are family needed and we chose to serve Him through all our struggles and difficulties and He supplied all we needed and more (our precious Avery Alana). All I can say is God is good and amazing in all that He does, don't ever doubt that....ever.

It makes my heart so sad to think of how much of a blessing our babies have been to us and others and close to 50 million never got the chance or choice to change the heart of someone they would have come into contact with.

I am not sorry nor will I apologize for stepping on any toes about my opinion !!

Titles for thought.....

Wether this is coincedence or not the following happened:

Tonight as I am scrolling through the guide on our TV, searching for something other to watch that is not going to make me hurl, I see the following shows playing:

Most Evil
Deconstructed
Sons of Anarchy
End of Days
Decision Against Time
Sudden Death

Maybe I am just bitter that America has chosen to elect a person and his wife who have little respect for our country, voter of killing innocent children, supporter of rights for same sex couples into our White House. I have prayed so fervently today and literally broke down in tears when Obama was announced as projected winner. But, all the while I could hear God saying, "have faith my child." And I have to remind myself what a wise counselor has said to me, "It's not who is in the white house but who is on the THRONE!! I know God is in control but my spirit weeps for those of innocent nature who will be hurt because of this mans beliefs. I think it is a time, a wake up call for those to hit the stores to buy patches for our pants, we need to wear our knees out hitting the ground praying for this nation return to the same values that it was based upon.

I read this scripture over and over today...

Psalm 121

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore

Lord Jesus, I give my life to you and I know that you and you alone know what is to come in the near future. I will praise all the days of my life, no matter what this nation is to become, I know I will have everlasting eternity with you and I pledge my life to help others receive you and have an everlasting relationship with you.
Amen

Let me get on my soap box for a while......

I find myself getting more and more infuriated as Halloween nears. Last week I drove up to a local restaurant to get a coke and noticed that they have decorated their establishment with the sights of blood and horror, it made me sick to my stomach and had to switch slots so that my children would quit asking questions about what happened. We went to Sam's couple of weeks ago and our little Avery who is three was hiding her eyes because the scary infaltables that were in the aisle scared herand walking into our local grocery store I see that the scenery had changed to haunted houses and goblins. Now don't get me wrong, I am all for the kids dressing up as princesses and cowboys and attending a carnival ( I thank God that my church offers my children an alternative to celebrate the life of Christ instead of the evil works that really do happen on this particular night). But, when we live in a society today that is suing people over the display of the Ten Commandments and nativity scenes, come on people...get it together. It seems that we have no problem displaying frightful images to burn into the minds of our innocent children but have a problem with displaying the birth of the man who SAVED YOUR LIFE!!! The spirit of fear is alive and grabbing everyone it can get its hands on. You don't have to be a certain age for Satan to sink his claws into you....it starts when we take our first breath of life on this earth. Satan is walking this earth just waiting to lure you in and this is his prime season and oh how he loves to attack our children. Just this last week my daughter was invited to attend a Halloween party. Frank and I were not comfortable with letting her go, knowing that more than likely with some things we heard from her that were going to take place ex: taking the kids to the cemetery to scare them. Now for us, the cemetery is not a place of horror for us, it is a place of hope and peace. My brothers body is at rest out there and we take our children out there teaching them that one day we will see him again and we don't want them thinking that they should fear when we go out there. But, I felt the nudge of God telling me to let her make this decision for herself. She battles with the spirit of fear a lot, it is a spirit we know will be broken off of her...soon!! So, we told her she needed to pray about it, maybe ask her children's pastor for advice and make a decision. And she did! She chose not to go because she felt in her spirit that God told her not to go, it was not right with Him. But,she told me she was so afraid that the people who invited her would not be her friend and hate her. Well, she told these people and what do you know....some of them told her even if she did get an invitation she was not invited and anyone who played with her was not their friend as well. Well, that left her all alone. After many big crocodile tears (not only from her, but from her momma as well) we knew that this was a lesson for all of us to learn. It hurts so bad for us to see our children get her and the first thing I wanted to do for her was to attack back. But, I have to teach my children that they have to first rely on God and what choices they choose for Him may not always be the most popular but they are right and that is what our family stands for. I think God used this time to show Frank and I that we are raising our children right, in His word. God used this time to show me that my daughter is so close to Him and that He cares for her, He is going to speak to her and give her the answers she desire to know. She is such a kind-hearted girl, pure of heart, who loves to worship Him. It also gave us a time to teach her on persecution and to not return hatred with hatred, but with kindness and love. I am grateful that I found God in time to raise my children under His word so that they in turn will have such an astounding relationship with Him and know Him. I pray that everyone who reads this understands that the spirit of fear is real and so powerful....it attacks our innocent kids and without them knowing that the only way to battle this is with the sword of Jesus it will continue to attach them all the days of their lives.

Romans 8:15
15 You didn't receive a spirit that makes you a slave to fear once again. Instead you received the Holy Spirit, who makes you God's child. By the Spirit's power we call God "Abba." Abba means Father.


I pray that everyone will start taking a stand and stand for what is right and not what is popular. I pray that the stance that my daughter took at 10 years old will affect someone at her school and let them know that it is okay to stand for Christ and not succumb to fear of peer pressure. People just don't see to understand that this is where peer pressure (drugs, alcohol, pre-marital sex) starts to factor in. I told Frank, can you imagine when she is in high-school, if she will continue this walk with God how powerful she is going to be in her spirit. We will never have to wonder if she is falling to peer pressure, knowing that she walks with Jesus everyday of her life. I cannot praise my Jesus enough for giving such a wonderful first born and I praise Him for the lessons He has taught our family during this time. I praise Him for the little eyes that live in our house and look up to their big sister and see how she relied on God at such a difficult time in her life.


On a side note.....The night of the party, she had a friend who attends church with her spend the night and I left to go get cokes and popcorn for them and when I returned, they were watching Hillsong Kids DVD and were jumping around and worshipping the Lord....oh how He tickles my soul with images of that....

Psalms 100:2
2 Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.

God in a carwash....?

Okay, so I know the title of this blog has you curious!! God gives me the best revelations at the most, should I say, quirkiest moments in my life! So, I am titling this revelation..."Are you in neutral?"

Friday before leaving for Denver for the weekend, Avery and I dropped off Kloey and Max at their school's, hit SUPESTAR COFFEE..yeah, and headed to the new car wash on highway 87 to clean out the messy ole tahoe!! After we sucked up 3 hundred goldfish (the crackers, not the real thing) from under the seats and threw all the trash away that had taken up home in my car we ventured into the "Most Funnest" car wash, as Max's call's it!! As Avery and I are heading through the car wash we are listening to Matt Redman's version of "The Blood of Jesus" (I love this song) Avery is singing along....nu-sing but da ba-wood of Jesus, she loves this song too and I love the moments when I can catch her worshiping the Lord at the simple age of 3 1/2, lisp and all!! She's adorable!! Anyway, as we are entering the end of the car wash, God puts it into my heart....that our relationship with Him is like this car wash...? Then it starts falling into place. When you first enter the car wash, for those who have been there, you come upon a machine that wants something in order to raise the bar barricade to let you into the wash...hmmm. God's terms: God wants us, our lives, and our problems; when we give them to Him, the bar will raise letting us in. Then as you are about to enter the car wash, you have a choice, to go straight, or turn left or right and leave. How many times have we done that in our lives and as soon as we give him our issues or lives, we instead of going straight with Him, we turn right or left on our own....not knowing how "clean" it could of all turned out if we would have just stayed with Him on the straight and narrow road. IF you decide to go straight, as I did this day, you will the enter the car wash (God's will) and then here comes the hard part...(I hate this part in the car wash) trying to get on the track that will take you through. Now, I know that the man working hates it when he sees me coming through....it takes me like 5 minutes to get on the track....he is always pointing his thumb left, then right, then left, more left, then right..then he chuckles...gosh!! As I am writing this, I giggle, thinking that God does that with us....points us left, then right, then left more left, trying to get us on His track, His plan for us, and when we land on the right path...he chuckles!!

Then, as soon as we get on the right track, we have to put our cars (lives) in neutral. We when give God a problem, issue, or even our lives, we in turn have to check ourselves and put us in neutral. We have to let God be in control not ourselves, let God tell us when to go forward, let it not be our choice when we go, stop or even fall backwards. Then comes the fun part. God then gets to run us through the wash (the water and soap being the blood of

Jesus...hint the song), washing all the mud, dirt, bug guts, and yes, even bird poop off of us. This washing may take a while, but eventually we will come to a part where we will see the rinsing start and then the best part comes, the light at the end of the tunnel. That light is amazing..knowing you are coming out clean (from everything you gave God). As we enter the light, we will then see the drying take place (God telling you that the problem is solved). When you exit the car wash, your car (or just yourself) will have a glow about you. Now, I know from my own experiences that whenever I have a problem that I give to God and let Him keep it, I come out of it, with a glow about myself. Not knowing at the time when it is so hard to give that problem to God, that when I do I will have a glorious glow or feeling of how God is so good.

That night as I laid at my grandparent's house I was reflecting on this revelation. God showed me that there will be more times than we can keep track of on how many times we have to enter that spiritual wash with Him. And sometimes He won't be able to get out the scratches and dings we go into the wash with, but those things are our testimonies. There will be cars that enter the wash that are battered, have cracked windshields, wrecked bumpers, etc. but when they exit that wash they too will have a glow about them and run on to tell their testimonies of how they were once dirty, but now cleaned!! Also, we will encounter times when the rain hits, we travel down the muddy roads again, or we are just parked and collecting dust, but God will always be there to let us in, wash us off, let us see the light at the end of the tunnel, dry us off and pat us on our bumper to go into the world again.

Oh, the love of Fall!!

"I love FALL!!" I said to myself today as I was walking outside to load kiddos up to get more kiddos from school. I love the moment you can take that deep breath of air and know that fall is here, isn't' God amazing!! I love to watch the leaves change and fall, pumpkin pickin at the Weick's with ALL my family, decorating the front yard, and most of all FOOTBALL games!! Fall always makes me want to watch "You've Got Mail", over and over. I've seen it at least 20 times!! It makes me want to move to New York (just in the fall), own a children's bookstore, and cut my hair really short like Meg Ryan's!! We always venture towards Red River this time if September with my parents just to watch the leaves, relax, and create lasting memories for my kids with my parents. I love times like that that God has so graciously blessed us with!! I will always cherish them. But this year we are having to skip Red River and head to Denver instead for my grandpa's birthday. Although the smell and sights of Red River Main Street will be missed, we will have a great time with my grandparents making memories for my kids to cherish of them! I will post pics when we get back and please pray for our safe travels, ex: Kristy's road rage during rush hour traffic...haha!!

My dip into the blogging world!!

Hello!! Well, I have ventured upon the blogging world! While trying to finish 3 labs I have due (yes, I have found myself returning to school along with my children to finish my degree!!) I decided to check out a sweet blessed family's page, the Bossell's, to see what was happening with their great blessing and low and behold here I am creating a page!! I love reading and found myself greatly intrigued with myspace, so I am praying that this is not the near addiction that I am trying to break free from with myspace, haha!! Well, after an hour of trying to figure all this out, I better get back to my school work while my husband is smiling ear to ear, the cowboys have just won!!